I love my un-innocent, imperfect life <3

I'm definitely not the model student or child. If I fail a test, it's unlikely I will think much of it for more than 5 minutes... if that... A grade less than an A does not scare me whatsoever. My parents have barely any clue what year I am in in school, let alone the concept of skyward online grading. When I said I was taking the ACT, my dad asked if it was a theater audition, (acting?! wtf!) not a nationally administered standardized test. My parents and I have a trust relationship when it comes to school, they know I'm trying my best and doing what I need to do, they never know what projects or tests are going on to give me reminders to study or meet deadlines. Thus, I have academic freedom and independence. There is also no pressure to go to a particular college. My mom wants me to apply wherever I want to go, whether it be Harvard or Normandale. I am definitely not perfect, and I will never bother to try to perfect myself. My room is covered in magazine clippings, there is probably diet coke cans stacked up from finals from last term, likely a mound of clothes the size of everest in the middle of the floor, my lacrosse stick strewn across one corner and my guitar in the other. My family is not full of success stories. I will be exceeding the expectations if I graduate from high school on time and without any major chemical dependencies. My family would love me even if I dropped out and took a liking to cocaine next weekend. Living in the moment is something I do best, and it doesn't always turn out perfect, but it's good enough for me. I'm experienced in certain adult ventures, but how does that make me a bad person? There were never those forbidden fruits in my house. I rarely call my parents to update them about my whereabouts, they know I'll be smart and figure out the evening myself. They were never worried about me working in a restaurant, an industry known for its dysfunctional people, and getting exposure to the much less desirable aspects of life. I competed in debate for two years, and got to third place, respectively, at state tournaments both years, did I force my parents to watch long debates so I could feel supported? hell no, I did it for myself and by myself. Oops I just swore in a blog post, how trashy of me. Like I said, IMPERFECTION. I've attended concerts where you were less likely to find someone who wasn't stoned at more risky venues than the Xcel center. My parents have no idea who a majority of my friends are, even if I introduce them, it's likely they'll forget in 10 minutes, so what is the point? My mom knows I have way more guy friends than girl friends, but she knows that it's simply because I get along with boys much better than girls, because they bring less drama to the table. I know I'm imperfect, but I am a good person. I don't accuse people of things I am not certain that they did. I don't say things about people behind their backs if I don't have the balls to say the exact same thing to their face. I definitely do not trust most people, but I can roll with life and pretend that I do anyway. I value every moment of my life, and if it requires breaking the rules, drinking too much caffeine and spending impulsively, than so be it. Gotta live like we're dying.

The Minimal Existence of a Nova Girl

Another day in paradise, or at least Plymouth, Minnesota. Apparently it is the number one place to live according to money magazine, and if they were evaluating based on amount of wealth then they must have accidentally been re-routed to Wayzata and then lied in their reviews. The sun is shining, or at least I think it is, I can’t really see out the darkened windows of the restaurant. I have just unlocked the front doors and flipped on the neon OPEN sign, and now I get to sit and anticipate the first customers.

Much to my expectation, they arrive. A minivan rolls up and to my horror, a definite soccer mom steps out. She is not alone. Lurking in the back seat are three ankle biters, all with runny noses and whiny dispositions. I watch from the inside; seeing this mom struggle to free the brats from their car seats is more action packed and violent than watching UFC on Comcast. They proceed into the restaurant, the kids break from their mothers restraints and run about as if the booth seats and soda fountain were a jungle gym. They spread their bacteria everywhere and cling to the counter, and stick their hands in my tip jar, which is fortunately empty at this point so I do not have to worry about wrestling hard earned dollars from pint-sized hands. The mother ignores their misbehavior and explores the menu, asking questions along the way.

“Does your Garden Pizza have vegetables on it?” Uhm. Yes. They finally order and once their food comes up, take it and leave. Now I get to examine the damage that has been done to my restaurant.

Looks like I can add “mopping parmesan cheese off the floor,” and “reassembling the soda machine” to my resume.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

OKAY so i finished half of the homework assignment and before progressing on to my next essay, which I have no idea what i want to do, instead i'm going to take a break and compose a christmas shopping list since MAWIAH and i are rendezvousing off to the big MALL OF AMERICA after 2:20.

OKAY so for my cousin Anna I got her a silver pendant of the buddhist "om" symbol because she really wanted a tattoo of it, im hoping that the necklace will defer her from inking her body. I still need a chain for it

Mariah... hmm she is right next to me so i wont say it

Laura medcalf - i want to frame a picture of us so that requires getting a picture developed and purchasing a frame

Brittni - done with her gifts

Anna wolverton - still need to get her something... AHHH SHES MY WIFE

Jenna - still want to get her a piece of jewelry to accompany the goat

Stephen- need a gas card along with his DVD

Mom and Dad - giftcard to the Oceanaire

OKAAAYYYY stress. Now back to the assignment

Voltaire: Re-AMPED

A figure that has had an impact on my outlook on life is the philosopher and writer, Voltaire. He is French, writes eloquent political material and isn’t afraid to stand up to authority, all qualities I enjoy.

He contributed to the Enlightenment, a changing time in the history of the modern world. He advocated for free trade, civil liberties and religious freedoms. Despite strict censorship laws during this time, he still produced political satire and was not afraid to criticize any institution he viewed as unjust.

Voltaire is an inspiration to me, not only as an aspiring writer, but also as an emerging adult in society. Information, biases and opinions are constantly enforced through the media and through personal friendships. Thinking like Voltaire helps me to escape the suppressions of my personal thoughts brought on by external influences. He stood up for what he believed in, and dared to criticize the government and the Catholic Church, both of which resulted in imprisonments and exiles, but these punishments ceased to scare him into silence. I will not suppress my own thoughts and opinions, even if expression results in disagreements.

Voltaire reminds me of the importance of independence, in terms of self-reliance and thought. Freedom of speech is a blessing and learning about the life of Voltaire reminds me to show my gratitude in my writing and in what I believe and stand up for.

The Inner Ring

The Inner Ring by CS Lewis is a piece that I completely agree with. It reinforces the saying "We adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us," a statement I have always agreed with but never understood. The inner circle, the coveted close-knit group of friends is something everyone wants, because it provides security. There is a lot that one has to sacrifice in order to reach the inner ring, the military examples reminded me of the hazings that take place at initiation for sororities and fraternities. Mostly everyone wants the close social relationships that being in a sorority or fraternity would give them, but the ridiculous things that they have to do for acceptance make it seem not even worth it. But people do it anyway, and continue the tradition of hazing freshman and recruiting during rush week. Why? Why would anyone put their health and reputation at risk to join a group of people that they will eventually grow sick of and want to get away from? A lot of times, people speak very highly of their sororities and fraternities, it helps them make friends and go to social events, which I understand, but it still follows the same principle of abandoning the friends and values you know for something completely different, something deemed more desirable. I do not think this ideal will ever really change, it is an inevitable occurrence with competition, and although it is difficult to understand why people cannot be satisfied with the company that they already keep, the inner ring helps to lay out a serious reality of society and human desire for improvement.

Remove yourself

Transcendentalism is a philosophy that focuses mainly on the self. It is somewhat of an anti-religion, because instead of worshipping some sort of idol or god, the subject seeks to find an inner light, and their own individual peace. Emerson and Thoreau illustrate this philosophy in their writing, because they focus on a certain kind of disconnect that is often forgotten in society, but is completely priceless. Communication is a constant demand and it keeps individuals from uncovering their true selves. Continual submergence into a fast paced and demanding society also is a major distraction and barrier to finding out who the inner self is and figuring out what that self really needs in life. If all people lived with a transcendentalist mantra, the need for grades would be eradicated. Phones and computers eliminated. People would know who they are, and as a whole society would become a lot smarter, without artificial surroundings to constantly taint their inner being.

Art.

I typically think of myself to not be an artistic person at all, but I'm starting to realize that despite my lack of ability to draw anything outside of the realm of a flower or a heart does not put me in a category of a non-artist.
I appreciate art. I love attending musical concerts and not only feeling the rhythm and the lyrics of the performer, but also the collective feeling and atmosphere that is resonated within the audience as well. I would love to be able to draw and paint awesome pictures depicting my inner thoughts and emotions, but paint and shading pencils are just not my media. The pen is, however. Writing has become my own personal outlet for artistic expression and personal expression. It allows me to write out those feelings, the same way a painter can depict deep emotions by blending colors and painting vivid images.

Give Thanks Every Day!

This is the annual day that all Americans are supposed to give thanks, and I need to narrow down what I am thankful for for the purpose of this post.
1. a healthy body that can run, walk, dance and move freely at my own will
2. Eyes that see, ears that hear, a voice that can sing and talk with others
3. a good job where I work with people who support and care about me, unlike other jobs offered to teenagers which are seen as places of dysfunction and dread
4. an able brain which can learn and think and process information
5. An imperfect family
6. a mother who never allows a shortage of food in the house...
7. a puppy who loves me and gets excited every time I walk in the door
8. A home in a safe neighborhood in a district of a prestigious public school
9. many different "families" who support me: Debate family, immediate family, extended family, lacrosse family, creative writing family etc.
10. semi-intelligent parents
11. my out of control hair
12. friends who will help me in any bad situation
13. the ability to travel and see new places in the world
14. indoor heating - although I don't think my mom turns it on often
15. my lifetime fitness membership
16. my cell phone
17. teachers who I feel safe to talk to about issues that you wouldn't talk about with any random person.

Of course there are many more things I can't think of that I need to express gratitude for, but for now this is what I will focus on as far as reasons for happiness.

washing away.

Enjoy the beauty given, don't try to create it.

Humans do not respect the natural beauty that surrounds them. The glamour of Hollywood and the bright city lights of New York City are always acclaimed as being beautiful and inspiring, but the same people who value those artificially created symbols of beauty are damaging the remaining natural beauty left on this earth. The ocean has become a toxic waste dump, and its animals and other marine life have fallen victim to this deadly human practice. From oil spills and garbage dumping to other atrocities committed against marine life, my visual essay exposes this injustice to the most beautiful and precious resource on the planet. Garbage is constantly disposed of in the ocean, strangling innocent animals and clumping into floating garbage islands. Oil is spilled from huge tankers to kill seabirds and fish and pollute the once pristine waters. The worst of all are the sins committed directly by humans against the innocent animals that live in the ocean, the images I included as an example are from the annual dolphin slaughter that takes place in Taiji, Japan.
The main appeal was to pathos, because the graphic imagery evokes a sentimental or emotional feeling. The viewer would likely feel a twinge of guilt for their inevitable minor contribution to the degradation of the ocean. Personally, I feel as though there is a logos claim, because it makes sense, it is logical for us to realize that we need to save our oceans because from my imagery, not taking action leads to ugly, polluted waters, but care for the ocean means beautiful, sparkling coral reefs and abundant sea life. For an audience, I would want people who do care about the oceans and who are not resorting to ignorance to deal with everyday problems in life, because they are the ones most likely to be impacted enough to change their daily behavior to be more ocean friendly after viewing the video. With the clearly displayed examples of the problems, motivation should be generated to change human behavior to better suit the cleanliness and health of the ocean.
To order my photos, I arranged them in groups according to the “sin” being committed within each one, with the main ideas being garbage dumping, oil spills and the slaughters. At the end, I put beautiful photographs of the ocean in its best condition. This was to leave on a positive note, because complete negativity forces people away from choosing to take action and instead they just become scared and ignore the issue entirely. I didn’t repeat a specific image, but instead I put up pictures containing similar content but shown in different locations/situations. This way it helps to paint a realistic picture of how serious AND how widespread of an issue ocean degradation is. The gloomy/grayish coloring shows how the pollution sucks the life out of the once vibrant ocean, which is shown in the vividly colored pictures toward the end of the show. They reinforce the idea that human contribution to the problems of the ocean has sucked the life and instead replaced mounds of dirty gray matter, covering up its beauty and life.
The music I selected for my soundtrack is a composition titled “A Hymn to the Sea” by James Horner, which is from the final scene and end credits in the Titanic movie. This piece of music has melancholy mixed with a mysterious, almost spiritual drift to it. This music reminds me of a tragedy, which is likely why it was used in the Titanic and its theme is based around the sea, something I am speaking up for. Instead of using blunt, loud or shattering music to arouse a disturbing mental image, the more quiet and solemn melody creates a sadness in the audience, not just shocking fear. This way, the message is not overblown and I am not using the “scare-tactic” logical fallacy, but instead merely showing the tragedies that the ocean suffers due to human activity. The bagpipes are an instrument that would be heard at a funeral, which arouses a thought that the oceans are slowly being killed off; never to be experienced again if human ways go unchanged. I did not use any text because I wanted the images to speak for themselves. This way, the viewer is forced to think of why I chose this topic, they are not merely "filled in" on my issue but curtly shown the problem and backed into a corner of realizing they need to take action. This personal and inner struggle and realization is what I wanted as a response to my essay. Hopefully, this arousal of intrinsic motivation is more effective in gaining support for a huge problem and leads to action faster than irrationally shocking and overly disturbing images that arouse more fear than desire to make a change.

Entitlement

Why do some people feel as though they are entitled to have their cake and eat it too? Entitlement is the idea felt by some individuals that they have rights to certain luxuries in life and that they have certain rights granted to them, they are not to be earned. So many people, typically of the Western culture, believe they are entitled to lives of splendor, including the new shiny cars, giant flat screen TVs, McMansion homes and all the works. Many students feel entitled to good grades, because they "try" hard, even if they do not necessarily earn the grade they believe they deserve. Entitlement is a problem because it is an attitude that generates social perceptions of arrogance and affluence, which irritates persons with little to no feelings of entitlement. It causes a lot of frustration between workers and bosses, friends of varying socioeconomic statuses and people of different cultures.

KDWB

The argument I heard this weekend was on 101.3 radio station - KDWB. It was in a commercial for a night club, and the announcer sounded like a young guy, probably mid-twenties. His voice had really intense inflection - it sounded fast paced and high energy to get listeners excited about the club, and the background to his voice played pulsing music, creating more energy. His arguments included - free cover for ladies and ladies drink free 9-midnight. He paused between talking about all the benefits that women would experience when they go there and all the benefits for men, this created a feeling of separation in the ways men and women are treated in society in my opinion. In the commercial the announcer yelled NO COVER! in an excited voice, definitely emphasizing his point that ladies do not have to pay a cover charge to get into this club, which would compel me if I was 18 and could get into this club. This advertisement for the club made it sound like a fun place to go and it also made it seem like it is a place that a lot of people go, so this was somewhat of an emotional/bandwagon type appeal.

Outside Ourselves.

Something I find extremely important to have knowledge about and an interest in is cultural education. Currently, many societies, nations and ethnicities are extremely ignorant about cultures other than their own. I am not just pointing fingers at Americans by any means, because cultural ignorance is a disease that plagues the entire world. It is not just a matter of Americans assuming that people from South America live in tree houses in the jungle or that people from Africa live in huts or that all Asians are Chinese and everyone from the Middle East is a terrorist. The press and the news never cover the rampant hatred that streams from other nations and cultures external to the United States. Israel is constantly under threat from Iran because of the religious and cultural differences, as well and economic disparity. The nation of Sudan has been torn apart and turned into a war zone in the region of Darfur, where the fighting is between the Muslims and the Black Africans, over issues of religion and other cultural factors. Cultural education is not just something that is lacking within the minds of the people of the United States, in fact, I find our country to be quite a tolerant one. We mostly accept people who sexually identify as homosexual, whereas in other nations they would be a taboo, or even worse, criminals needing to be executed. We take time to be politically correct and avoid offending various cultural groups. However, avoiding committing an offense and actually becoming enlightened on a culture different than our own are two different things. We should learn about other cultures so we can avoid ignorance, and so we can understand the workings of the world in its entirety. You cannot have the United States without Britain, and you cannot have South America without Brazil, etc. All parts of countries and cultures are important; they contribute to a much greater whole. If people accept ignorance as their main method of dealing with the differences we face in society, then feuds and hatred will always continue, because misunderstanding something causes fear, and fear spawns the hatred that fuels genocides and cultural clashes.

An F for Failure or for Fabulous????

The education system that is currently the norm in America is failing. And it will continue to fail as it continues to be not only accepted, but watered down more as time passes and students of other nations fight to rise up. This was the general theme of the pieces "Blame the Student" and "2 Million Minutes." Both were quite enlightening as well as straightforward and outright true. I agree completely with the content of both of these compositions. Students in an American public high school are set up so that failure will be avoided at all costs, no matter if the student actually tries or not. In China and India, the competition is much more fierce, the standards much more high. And students from these countries fight many more issues external to school work, but they never let it get in the way as many American students do. Poverty and disease, as well as government problems, plague almost all parts of these countries. Even the poorest people in America are so well off compared to the poor in these regions. In America, there is no emphasis placed on mathematics and science compared to students in Asian countries. There are exceptions, American students who do try extremely hard and over achieve by the standard here, and they are typically put in special honors classes and given endless opportunities to advance their personal education and knowledge. In China and India, every child studies the same amount, and the same amount is a lot. Even if one student were to be exceptionally brighter than the majority of the rest, it is likely his/her school would not have the resources or connections to get them into special programs to meet their needs. American students are not bad people, but they have been taught that mediocrity is not only "o.k." in fact, it's something to strive for, because in our system you can receive "As" with mediocre effort. The lack of motivation will ultimately hurt American students in the long run, and it is likely that it will lead us into the downfall as a super power nation, and it will pave the way for the students in China and India who devote a majority of their time to studying to rise to the top and rule the world.

Something of the milieu that is my thoughts

Today, I dropped Chemistry X after much debating, frustration and meeting with school counselors. I definitely feel inadequate and unintelligent. Even though, rationally, I realize this is not in fact the case, I have never felt so confused by a subject before in my life. Usually I can collect myself enough to fudge my way through anything and at least pull off an average grade, and being exposed to the content of that class was like being thrown in the middle of 494 in rush hour in a wheelchair. I really hope this is the best decision for me, and that I am not just giving up, something I would not be proud of. I just could not handle the stress that class brought upon me. Tonight I really wanted to just stay home and stew in my own self pity, but fortunately my friend Jon convinced me to go out, and it was a good decision. We went to Uptown and the Electric Fetus, which is an epic record store. I bought the 500 Days of Summer Soundtrack (an awesome indie movie you need to see) and the soundtrack to Accepted. We went to dinner at Pizza Biga, and it was delicious to say the least. The margherita sauce on my pizza was superb, with the perfect amount of basil sprinkled on top. Stephen ordered a weird pizza with egg on it. Open topic blog was the instructions for this assignment... Uhm... That is complicated and very broad.

Music. It's importance and international fame. Music is something we can all relate to, enjoy, and recognize. All cultures share some form of music. The music can speak where words would fail. Without music, many people would probably become very dysfunctional citizens of society, unable to express their innermost thoughts through the beats and rhythmns that music provides to us.

Music provides a mode of connection, a way of building relationships. It can be attending concerts with friends, blasting the radio and singing in the car or sharing a specific "song" with a special someone. It gives people similarities in regards to taste, and something to discuss and converse about.

Music heals. It provides those who are hurting with assurance that they are not alone. It provides those who are missing someone with an escape from the haunting thoughts. Music naturally boosts our mood and helps free us from our problems, worries and stresses.

Music is an outlet for some, for others it's an enjoyable indulgence, and for certain folks it's a way of life. Disreguarding the magnitude of its impact, it is impossible to argue that music does not impact someone's life in some way. Like heartbeats, it's a trait that all humans possess, almost like a gene that is not only passed down through families, but across cultural lines, social barriers and economic obstacles, for all people to participate in and belong to.


Valerie Streif

Identified through Language

Without language, society as a whole and smaller divisions of culture wouldn't have developed into unique and individual identities. Communication helps people develop and relate to others, so it also helps them form their personal cultures within the subdivisions of our civilization. Language is an important tool to use to dig into a certain culture; if you know the language, you can begin to fully immerse yourself in the culture.
Take English for example. American English and British English are two completely different languages, in terms of spelling of certain words, slang and other terminology. Within English are many subdivisions as well, with slang and different terminology being used within different geographical regions. You can identify a person from the south by their language, they might use the word "coke" for soda, so when you hand them a coca-cola they actually wanted a sprite.
Language can also identify the most inner-workings of individual human beings. The way people phrase things, state their opinions and express their feelings reveals a lot about them as a person. Someone who criticizes others with harsh words may not feel very well about themselves. Others who use a sophisticated tongue may be especially educated or feel the need to fake intelligence. Overall, the language people use helps them define who they are. And who they are helps determine their language, in an ongoing cycle. Language is pliable, it can evolve to match the changes of the individual, it can reshape and reform itself. Language helps people define themselves, and it helps society develop into a variation of culture and unique individual components.

Purely Opinion

So if I were the type to pick favorites, and my choices were either George Orwell's "Why I Write" or the excerpts by Joan Didion, I would definitely go with the original Orwell piece. Not because I consider myself a slave to pure originality, but because the essay that he wrote, although much longer, was a much more enjoyable read. You definitely do not get to know Joan like you do George, who starts his montage at the beginning of his life really, and you have the priviledge of watching it unfold, whilest with Joan Didion's version, it all just sort of starts and ends in the same place. She also does not place the same amount of emphasis on writers and what it means to be a writer, whereas Orwell explicitly lists and explains traits of writers and why certain people are driven to write and where the passion for writing comes from. You learn what a writer is through Orwell. You learn their desires, psychology and basic personalities all throughout his essay.

Well let's start today tomorrow then.

It's 3:29. I wish that I could figure out how this thing called a moodle page works because I think I have homework that I am supposed to get off of it, but I can't figure it out. This is not good because I work 11-9pm tomorrow, an ungodly amount of hours in one sitting but I'll take what I can get. Diet pepsi for the win at the moment. The humidity today reminds me of Florida and that makes me really want to not be here and attending school and instead sitting on the beach watching the waves crash in. Longing for them to take me with them out to sea. Dramatic, but at times a nice thought, until the unpleasant realization that drowning would take place sets in.

Well if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, but when life deprives you of homework... well I guess I'll just go clean out my car instead.

The Beginning

I ponder what to write here. Time passes. This class is definitely quite the mix of people, and hopefully it will result in something enlightening. I have faith and I would bet on that. As for the teacher, I am not really sure if she is Mrs. Cardona or Ms. Vernes. The first day I was not sure if she had become married or gotten a divorce because she was not wearing a ring and referred to it as a name change, but the "Mrs." allowed me to catch on. *sigh* only the third day and I am already missing Summer. I didn't accomplish or do much this Summer but it is the freedom that I long to have again. Since I can't control the seasons or schedule, might as well focus on what I can do in my current situation.

So, in other words, make some goals.

1. Improve my writing so I can feel confident when composing essays for college applications as well as my Post-Secondary Enrollment Option (PSEO) essay for next year at the University of Minnesota.

2. Improve my writing so that it becomes more enjoyable to read, even if it happens to be a research paper of all seriousness.

3. Learn 117 new vocabulary words. Why 117? Well why not?

4. Uncover new ways to express my inner thoughts that dwell deep within my mind, buried under a mass of material and shallow obstacles.